Fake News: "They Choose to Be That Way"

**Warning: Unpopular Opinions/Facts**

I originally wanted to publish this post in June - in honor of Pride Month of 2018 - but there were a lot of things that came up and prevented it, so I'm posting it now. If you continue reading, please don't tell me that it was unexpected, you were warned.

There's something I need to get off my chest that really "grinds my gears" when it comes to the ideals surrounding the LGBTQ+ community. Very judgmental and homophobic ideals. You're free to be homophobic, at least understand these few very important facts.

Fact One: It is not a choice. This is important to understand because I don't think people understand what comes with well- coming out. There are a lot of consequences that members of the LGBTQ+ community have to deal with if they come out to those they care about, or even to those they don't care about. To come out is to be another level of brave that most people couldn't comprehend.

There is a lot of fear of rejection, shunning, loss of respect, humiliation, self-consciousness and many many more things that I'm sure no one would take the time out to read that comes with letting people know that you are anything but heterosexual.

When it comes to religion, sexual intercourse and love are related to procreation and that is the soul intention or purpose of either of those things, so that us as humans beings can enjoy the act a little more and feel like we're gaining something from it instead of just giving to the world. But as humans, we don't completely accept the idea that love and sex - that moment of intimacy we feel with another human being - is purely for procreation.

We don't want to acknowledge that the main reason we feel these things or want these things is because of a natural instinct to carry on the race (this part is both religious and scientific). I mean, let's be honest here, everyone knows - even if they haven't experienced the miracle themselves - that childbirth is no walk in the park. We see the pain that women go through, we hear about it, we read about it, hell we study it in school.

Of course we know that it is natural to want to continue our species, we have a natural fear of extinction but at the same time, we also know that the process of continuing our species is only pleasant before the birth. Nobody enjoys popping out babies - even though women were expected to do so on a regular (that's an entirely different blog though for another time) but we need to in order to keep our species going.

So, when someone says one day that they are not heterosexual, it sparks fear and disgust in those who strongly believe in heterosexual love solely. This is because, "There's no way for two men or for two women to procreate! They're breaking basic human nature!" This is just entirely untrue and the fact that people actually feel this way disgusts me. This is a level of ignorance that I cannot ignore.

So, after people find that the individuals are breaking "basic human nature" they began to say that they chose to break "basic human nature" this is entirely untrue as well. We all know the consequences of breaking the norm (what's expected, basic human nature, etc.), they aren't good so who in their right mind would willing choose to break the norm, knowing that it would impact them negatively and severely? Does that make any shred of sense to you?

Now, I'm sure there is someone reading this thinking, "Yeah but what about the masochists?" What about them? Even if they are into feeling shitty for the rest of their life, they wouldn't choose to continue being hurt like that if they weren't actually attracted to the individual. If they have any type of hurt, they care about how other people feel and if the other person looks at their masochistic partner and sees that they are just with them to get off, they wouldn't stay unless they were floating in between relationships.

Not only that but nobody just wakes up one day and says, "Hey, you know what, let's mix it up today, I think I'm gonna be gay today." Not even bisexuals do that. No one chooses to like who they like, they just do. Trust me, no names mentioned but, I know a few females that tried their damnedest to like males but they just couldn't get off to a male, they just didn't feel the attraction, no matter how many men they tried to be attracted to, maybe they felt a connection but not a deep enough connection to let them enjoy sex with the males. They didn't have any problems enjoying sex with females, even if they didn't have the emotional connection with the females.

Likewise, I have male friends who tried their damnedest to like females but couldn't get up for a female, no matter how close they were or how much they trusted the female but it was so easy for them to get it up for other males. Explain to me how that was a choice for any of them?

I researched somewhere that the attraction to any one (or more) genders is a chemical reaction in the brain and some people just don't have that chemical reaction. Or some people have too much of it. So, next time you think about spouting the words, "They choose to be that way" really think about it. There's too much pain to endure to willingly choose something like that.

Fact Two: It's not always done for attention. I've heard people honestly believe that members of the LGBTQ+ community love who they love for attention. This is entirely false. If you are truely a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you don't choose and you don't love who you love for attention. You love who you love because well, you love them.

I'm not saying that there aren't people out there that pretend to like the same sex for attention - because there definitely are (and it really pisses me off) - but the keyword in that is pretend. Meaning they don't actually find the same sex attractive, they just pretend to do it for the attention of hot guys - or hot girls (whichever). I see it way too often, and just as a side note, I'd like to ask those of you who read this to please stop pretending to like the same gender (especially you ladies) it's really disappointing when you develop a crush on someone cute and they turn out not to actually like the same sex (trust me, experienced this a couple times ;~; ). It's just cruel.

This is also not to say that there aren't LGBTQ+ members that do certain things for attention - because there are but that's with every community, LGBTQ+ and Heterosexual alike. But they don't decided to date someone of the same sex so people will look at them and desire them, they date that person because they like that person and want to be with them so get that stupid idea out of your head (I've met some pretty unbelievable people).

Fact Three: Not everyone in the LGBTQ+ community went through a traumatic experience that made them avoid opposite gender. While there are a lot who suffered extreme trauma in their childhood which made them unable to be attracted to the opposite gender - it's not true for everyone.

Sometimes, genes just win (yes it's genetic, it's been proven). I didn't do a whole lot of research on how it becomes genetic but I did enough to know that it's definitely genetic, there's a high chance that if someone in your family is anything other than heterosexual you, or your children can be anything other than heterosexual. It doesn't matter if it's an aunt or uncle, a grandmother or grandfather, a cousin, a distant aunt or uncle, a great aunt or uncle, a great grandmother or grandfather, anyone that is biologically related to you can pass the gene on to you, it's just like anything else that's genetic or hereditary. It can skip generations, it can skip family members.

Fact Four: It is not a disease!! I cannot stress how important this fact is. For years, people tried to "treat" this "disease" of being anything other than heterosexual. They would send sons and daughters who showed any signs of homosexuality off to asylums to get therapy, to get shock therapy, to be "fixed". There's nothing to fix! It is perfectly normal for individuals to sometimes be attracted to the same gender or multiple genders.

To this day, there are still people out there running experiments on those who have showed signs of homosexuality in the attempt to cure them of their homosexuality or bisexuality or bi-curiosity or pan-sexuality or trans-genderness and it's just not something to be cured because it's not a disease. It's just a chemical reaction. What are you going to do, remove chemicals from the individuals brain? It's an option but what would the consequences be? There's a possibility of wiping out an entire chemical essential to functionality. There's a chance that you can completely alter the person and they might end up some type of zombie - not like diseased or brain eating zombie but lifeless individual.

If it were your son or daughter, would you sacrifice them as a person and not allow them to be happy just so that you can make sure they don't have sex with the same gender? I mean honestly, unprotected sex is still dangerous but there is very minimal chances that someone who is homosexual will end up pregnant or getting pregnant by having unprotected sex with the someone of the same gender - granted the exception to this is if someone who is biologically a male but identifies as a female and hasn't gone through bottom surgery or hormone therapy (example, someone who recently discovered that they didn't identify as their physical/biological gender).

Fact Five: It is not always a phase! There are too many people that have children that notice their homosexuality or bisexuality or whatever it is they may be during their adolescent teen years and they pass it off as a phase and don't support their child in discovering themselves. This is bad for their health. During this point in their life, they need the support from their parents, no matter what they're going through. They need that reassurance while they're questioning themselves that they are still loved, otherwise it can lead to suicide, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and other personality disorders.

Adolescent teen years are a very important time to be there for your children because this is usually when they are trying to figure out who they are and if you do not support them, its going to confuse them more and cause them to have all kinds of mental health issues that they may not be able to deal with. Of course their whole life is important but this is the time that they are really realizing what the world is about, they are growing up, they are on their ways to becoming adults and if they don't grow into adults who have support from their makers - their parents - how on Earth do you expect them to succeed? It's not really possible.

They'll always be trapped in their own thoughts, they'll always be worried about how they're "supposed" to be instead of who they are, they'll never be truly happy because they'll be forced to live a fake life. They'd be forced into a situation that they may not be comfortable with.

Fact Six: We Are Human. No matter what we identify as, at the end of the day, we're just like everybody else, we're human. We feel, we speak, we think, we are, we aren't robots. We aren't animals. We aren't abominations. We are beautiful, just like you. We're compassionate, just like you. We're sons and daughters, just like you. We're sisters and brothers, just like you. We're lovers, we're scholars, we're dreamers, we're fighters, we're hardworkers. We are people. We are human. That is the most important thing to take from this if nothing else. We are humans! Don't treat us like the dirt on your shoes, don't treat us like children, don't treat us like pests, don't treat us like we're enemies. We are just like you, we've got jobs and people that love us, people we love. Don't judge us, don't spit on us, we are just like you. We are human.