A Day in the Dark

Today is the start of a very important month. Depression awareness Month. This isn't my usual post at all but it's very important to talk about this. Depression is a very real thing. Trust me, I've been battling Depression for years. Millions of people battle with Depression and no one notices. No one realizes what's going on inside of them.

Why? Because most of us who have been battling Depression have learned how to hide it, disguise it. We keep it to ourselves. We don't like talking about it, because we feel like we're being whiny or we feel like no one is going to care anyway.

Depression isn't just a feeling, it's a behavior. It's a way of life. It's an imbalance. It's something that can't just be turned off, no matter how many meds we're given or how many drinks we have, or how much we smoke.

No matter how much we vent or cry to others. It's something that never truly goes away. Meds help us manage it, alcohol helps us ignore it, drugs help us to be numb to it but it's still there, a demon that's never truly exorcised.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in ones brain causing reoccurring thoughts of suicide, worthlessness, hurt, pain, uselessness, and distraught. Depression is sleeping for more than nine hours on a regular basis. Depression is always cancelling plans at the last minute. Depression is a messy room. Depression is "unexplained" weight loss, usually due to not eating. Depression is consistent crying, Depression is lack of speaking. Depression is relentless night terrors. Depression is taking excessive naps during the day. Depression is taking long naps throughout the day.

Depression is the loss of interest in previously "loved" hobbies or activities. Depression is lack of communication. Depression is lack of getting out of bed at all. Depression is calling into work frequently because "what's the point?" Depression is the loss of friends. Depression is the state of being unhappy. Depression is telling self-depreciating jokes. Depression is constantly putting ones self down. Depression is not trying to stand up and defend ones self. Depression is lack of concentration. Depression is falling asleep in class because everything and everyone exhausts you.

Many people don't recognize some of these things as signs of depression they just look at the individual and figure that the individual is being lazy. That the individual has changed. It is very important to keep an eye on your loved ones, especially around the holidays, Seasonal Depression is a thing. You need to check up on your friends, listen to them even if you've heard the same story a million times. Be a shoulder for them to cry on. Don't let them tell those self-depreciating jokes.

Depression can lead to suicide or becoming suicidal. While Suicidal, an individual is seriously considering suicide as a way out of the pain of their everyday life. Ridding the world of another waste of space as some claim to be. You need to love your friends, you need to make sure that you are doing everything in your power to take care of yourself and to be available for your friends. Don't ignore their dark comments, their dark suggestions or dark jokes.

If you are or know someone dealing with Depression, please help them by being supportive of them - not of their depression but of them. Try to get them to do the things they used to do, be kind, don't be rude. If you are suffering from depression, talk to someone and if you feel like no one will listen, contact the suicide prevention line. You are important, you are worth something, you will do great things, I promise you. Keep fighting and never give up on the life you are given, only you can make it better than it is.

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1.800.273.8255